Better Than A Cookbook
by Atemu'sLotus
Summary: Alright, so last year's birthday present was awful but this year Ichigo will make it up to Orihime. But how can he when he can't even remember his children's birthdays! Belated Birthday present for TheLordOfPages1692! IchiHime, slight RenRuki MatsuHitsu.


Konbanwa!

This fic is a present to TheLordOfPagesr1692! :D

He requested a birthday fic between Orihime and Ichigo where Ichigo- You'll have to find out. ;p

So, on with the show!!

* * *

Disclaimer: A man stood at the edge of a dock holding the rights to Bleach in his hands. "No calm down and put the rights on the dock, nice and slowly," said Atemu'sLotus as she crept closer to the volatile man. "No," the man said as he dropped the rights into the lake. "NO!!!! NOW THE RIGHTS TO BLEACH WILL NEVER BE MINE!!!" Atemu'sLotus yelled. (Got the point?)

* * *

"You're a horrible father. What do you mean you can't remember their birthdays?" Isshin asked as he looked at the chart of a patient. He put it down nodding towards the three-year-old patient and then glared at the boy's father.

Ichigo sighed and scratched the back of his head. "I just need to know what month they were born in. It's not my fault we have so dam- darn many," Ichigo said as he corrected himself in front of his three-year-old son.

"Why don't you just ask your kids?" Isshin asked as he gave his grandson a green sucker. The little boy's eyes shined as he quickly took the treat with thanks.

"Go ahead. You won't get anywhere," Ichigo said with a huff as he looked at the happy child. Really, his father could be so difficult. Was it really that hard to get the birth records of all of his grandchildren so far? There were only five from Orihime and himself.

That's right, five. Hey, it's not his fault that he couldn't keep his hands off his wife. Plus, they enjoy the large family. It's more exciting as Orihime put it.

"Fine," Isshin said as he turned to his second oldest grandson, "Kei, when is your birthday?"

The boy smiled up at his grandpa and cheered, "When Oka-san gives me a birthday kiss and cake!"

Isshin froze as Ichigo smiled widely at Kei. Internally Ichigo was praising his son while his father rubbed his head in confusion.

"He doesn't even know his own birthday?"

"It's better than the others. They said that it was today," Ichigo stated as he looked at his son.

Kei lifted his arms up indicating his wish to be picked up and Ichigo obliged. The boy cuddled into his father's huge frame and them promptly dozed off. Ichigo patted his son's back as he followed a defeated Isshin into the record room. Isshin opened the filling cabinet and immediately handed Ichigo the file.

"Thanks. I'll have Yuzu copy this for me," Ichigo said as he walked out to the front desk.

"Hey, before you go," Isshin said as he closed the file. Ichigo turned back to look at his father. "Why do you need all this? It's not their birthdays coming up, it's Orihime's."

Ichigo smirked and nodded, "Exactly."

* * *

Ichigo opened the door to his house with Kei in his arms to hear giggling and yelling emanating from the living room. Kei stirred and looked up sleepily as his father entered the living room with a frown. He found the rest of his children on the living room floor with three other kids, who were up to their elbows in glue, craft paper, and other craft supplies. Feeling the presence of their father the four children looked up and smiled at their Oto-san.

Ichigo's frown softened a bit. "What are all of you doing?" Ichigo asked as he set down Kei in the mess.

"We're making presents for Oka-san!"

"We're making presents for Orihime-oba-san!" The children shouted in unison.

"I see and where are the adults?" Ichigo asked as he unstuck his youngest's hands, which were glued together. Ichigo wiped the glue from the one-year-old's hands as his eldest daughter gave him a status report.

"The adults are in the kitchen with the bottle of sake that Matsumoto-oba-san brought. But Oka-san isn't here. Tatsuki-oba-san took her out for some cookies." Nariko then sat down and continued to build her Popsicle present of the blue variety.

A groan escaped Ichigo's lips as he dared to set forth for the kitchen. As he entered he saw Rangiku, Rukia, Renji, and Tōshirō sitting at the kitchen table with glazed looks in their eyes. Well... Everyone except for Tōshirō, he was the only sober adult. Ichigo sighed as he grabbed the sake bottle away from Rangiku.

"Hey! That'ssss mine..." Rangiku slurred as she weakly tried to grab the sake bottle back.

Ichigo glared at her and grimaced. "It's empty so back off. What are you doing in here anyways? I told you to watch the kids, not get drunk in the same house as them."

Tōshirō butted in. "I have been meditating on their movements ever since we got here. If there was any trouble** I** took care of it," he stated as he glared at Rangiku who just smiled drunkenly at him.

"My man is always in control," Rangiku hiccupped, resulting in a blush from Tōshirō.

Renji leaned over the table while Rukia leaned on him. "So what did ya get Orihime?"

Everyone stopped and looked at Ichigo expectantly. When he didn't answer Rukia snorted, "You didn't get her another cookbook, did you?"

"She enjoyed the cookbook last year!" Ichigo retorted as everyone else rolled their eyes. Ok, so maybe last year's present wasn't the best but this year was different. This year was well thought out.

"Well? What did ya get her?" Rangiku slurred as she got up to sit on the arm of Tōshirō's chair.

"That's none of your-"

"I'm home!" a voice cheered as eight little voices screamed in shock.

"Don't come in the living room Oka-san!!"

Orihime emerged in the doorway of the kitchen with grocery bags and a big smile. She immediately waved at her friends and husband. "Hello! Did everyone enjoy themselves?"

Ichigo walked over to his wife and took the bags from her. She protested but he argued, "You shouldn't be walking around with heavy bags in the first place. Where the hell is Tatsuki?"

"She's helping the kids pick up after themselves," Orihime said as Ichigo walked over to the counter.

Rangiku stood up and then hung on Orihime. "Orihimeeee... Ichigo won't tell us your birthday gift..."

Orihime blushed and patted her friend's hands that were hung limply on her left shoulder. "It's ok. Whatever gift Ichigo gives me will make me happy." At that Orihime smiled up at her husband who warmly returned the gesture.

Ichigo then walked towards his wife and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Well, I can promise you this Orihime, it won't be another cookbook." And with that he went out to the living room to help Tatsuki round up the kids for dinner.

* * *

"Oka-san where Oto-san?" Kimiko asked Orihime as she opened her tenth birthday present.

"Don't worry Honey, I'm sure he'll come back soon." Sadly, Orihime didn't know when soon was. Her husband had answered the phone during the birthday song and then dashed out of the house. No one had a clue where he went or why.

"Baka," Rukia muttered as she saw the dejected Orihime smile sadly at her child, "That baka strawberry better have a good excu-"

BANG!

The front door opened and closed with gusto as Ichigo rushed into the living room. Before Orihime could mutter a word he grabbed her waist and plopped her on his right shoulder.

"Be back in a minute," Ichigo breathed as he carried his wife out of the room. No one moved or spoke out of sheer shock.

Meanwhile Ichigo carried Orihime out onto the back patio and set her down in one of the lawn chairs. Neither said a thing as Ichigo tried to catch his breathe from running all ten blocks from and to his house and Orihime out of awe. Ichigo hadn't carried her like that since Hueco Mundo.

"I-Ichigo?" Orihime whispered as she gently touched her husband's back. He looked ragged but she could feel the happiness and relief roll off of him as he slowly looked up at her.

He smiled softly and knelt down in front of her. "Orihime, last year I messed up and got you a cookbook. It was a horrible gift, especially since it had no red bean paste recipes," at this point Orihime tried to interrupt but Ichigo held up his hand and she closed her mouth, letting him continue. "But this year I've made up for it. So, Happy Birthday Orihime."

With that he pulled out a small jewelry box and opened it. Orihime gasped as she looked at the beautiful multi-jeweled ring. She noticed the different jewels on the ring and was puzzled at first until she gasped again and clapped her hands in front of her.

"Ichigo! Those are our children's birthstones!" She squealed as he nodded and took the ring out of the box. He slowly slipped it on her index finger and kissed it tenderly.

"Correct," he said as he held her hand, "So, do you like it?"

Orihime smiled and hugged her husband of five years. She leaned back and kissed him with a smile. "I love it."

"Even though it's not a cookbook?" Ichigo grinned against her lips.

"Even though it's not cookbook," she whispered. The couple laughed as Ichigo captured her lips for another kiss.

* * *

And there it is. How'd you like it?

I hope that you like Page-kun! Happy Belated Birthday!!! :D

BONUS

Readers: "So let us get this straight."

Atemu'sLotus: "Ok, what's up?"

Readers: "You had Matsumoto bring alcohol into a house full of children and intoxicate every other adult there-"

Hitsugaya: "I object to that statement. I was clean the entire time I was there."

Atemu'sLotus: "Yeah! That's right! Hitsugaya was sober!"

Readers: "Fine, fine. Matsumoto intoxicated every adult there except for Hitsugaya, while they were **supposed** to be babysitting Ichigo and Orihime's children. Is that not a bad influence, nay suggestion, for all babysitters out there? This is an awful message! This fic should be rated M for maturity because of this tainting content!! Who ever heard of adults getting drunk while watching kids??"

Atemu'sLotus: "Wait. That's not normal?"

Readers: O.O

Hitsugaya: "Yes, it is not normal."

Atemu'sLotus: "MY LIFE IS A LIE!!!"

* * *

Please enjoy!

See ya later!


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